Ladies and gentlemen, welcome the the first ever What Does This Really
   Mean? Awards. My name is AmeriDan and I'll be your host for the evening.
   Tonight we will celebrate a clear, concise and to the point description of 
   a world event and the MSN's spin on it. The lucky winner will receive a
   "virtually" expensive trophy and one hundred dollars donated to the
   Charitable Foundation of their choice.

   This years What Does This Really Mean? question was a real toe stumper.
  
   After it was announced that the United States had plans to include Iran
   and Syria in a so called peace plan for Iraq, that did not involve bombing
   runs over their capital cities- we find out that we would seek their
   cooperation instead. Partners in peace. What was the Iranian response,
   and the MSN spin. We'll let the Associated Press take it from here:

          "The Iranian diplomatic gambit appeared designed to upstage
           expected moves from Washington to include Syria and Iran in
           a wider afford to clamp off violence in Iraq."

   Bravo to the A.P. for that. Iran and the United States of America in a race
   to see who can bring peace to Iraq first. Good stuff. Now we'll turn to the
   real meaning of all this. By quoting the winner of our contest:

   After this word from our sponsor-

           Do you feel that booosh LIED about WMD's? Do you believe
           that Valerie Plame was a super secret agent double naught
           spy exposed by ROVE because her HERO husband spoke
           TRUTH TO POWER? Do you think that abandoning Israel to 
           let the savages overrun them is a good idea? What about 
           9/11? Who's fault was it.... the jooos or the ugly americans?

           If you feel any of these symptoms- you may be suffering from
           moonbatitis. Despite what you have heard about the 
           boooshitlerchaney ban on all medical research, some work 
           goes on. The AmeriLab Inc. has finally perfected the answer 
           to all of your disillusions. The new and inproved ClueBat.
           Simply beat yourself over the head with it twice a day and
           your defeatist attitude will disappear.

           WARNING: Side effects may include a renewed pride in your
           Country and a realization that redeployment is a Liberal
           word meaning surrender.

           Now back to your program.


   Weclome back everyone! Now here's this year's winning answer to the
   What Do They Really Mean? question:

           The AP is telling you that Iran is using the age old third grade
           stategy all of us have employed.

           You know, the I'll offer to help you before you ask me to help,
           thereby making it look like I care before I take over your 
           Country- while at the same time making you look like the late
           arrival to the fix Iraq dance- all the while knowing that you
           really don't want my help and I really don't want to help,
           gambit.

           It is also defined this way:
           I know you know that I know what you know.
   
   Wow folks, that got right to the point. Please hold your applause for later.
   Yes, yes, I know- good stuff, but we're trying to do an Awards Show here.

                               *The crowd continues to applaud* 
               *AmeriDan stands there smiling and feeling like an idiot*
                    *Audience settles down and returns to their seats*

   And now I, AmeriDan- present to you, the winner of the 2006 What Do They
   Really Mean? Awards.......

                                             *Drum Roll*
                                         *opens envelope*
                                      *Crowd holds breath*
 
   And the winner is.................. MadelinesDad of Where Are My Key's?!!!!!!!!!!
    
                   *Crowd leaps to their feet in joyful celebration*
                 *Joseph Wilson, who had already assumed he won,
                   raises his arms in victory, starts to walk out on
                   stage and realizes that his name was not called-
                   yells "WHAT?!!!!! and runs back offstage*

       (EDITORS NOTE: I have no idea why Joe was even here. He was not
        invited and didn't even have an entry into the contest. Thankfully,
        a woman wearing dark sunglasses and a trenchcoat appeared  
        out of nowhere to rescue him. Our sources- Karl Rove and Scooter
        Libby- tell us that it was the world's most famous Super Secert
        Agent Double Naught SPY- Valerie Plame.)

                      *MadelinesDad enters from stage right*
                                  
                                   *The crowd goes wild*
    
              *AmeriDan shakes his hand, and gives him the mic*                               
                             
   WOW.... There are so many people to thank, I just don't know where to
   begin... First, thanks to the Academy for continuing to allow folks like
   me to entertain you. Thanks to my English Teacher who taught me to
   read and write. Real good. Thanks to all the Democrats and their blind
   rage towards all things Republican. You give me the fuel this machine
   needs each and every day. Also, thanks to all the "little people"; the
   AmeriDans,

   EDITORS NOTE: Hey that's me! Er, uh, I mean AmeriDan.

   the Pikers, the JimmyCarters; and the folks that read and comment on a
   regular basis. Oh yeah, thanks to Nancy Pelosi- the gift that keeps on
   giving. Every time I seem to run into a dead-end on what to post about;
   she always comes thru. Thanks Nan!

                             *Music starts to play*
                               
    WOW, I hear the music coming up, so I guess my time up here on the 
    dias is almost up. Thanks also to Townhall.com for providing me with
    this forum, free of charge. And lastly, thanks to algore for inventing
    the internet, with all it's tubes and such. Without him, none of this 
    would be possible.

                           *Crowd goes crazy again*
                                *Standing ovation*
               *MadelinesDad is carried off stage on the
                 shoulders of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders*
           *Preston from 6MB, John from WuzzaDem, and Charles
             from LGF follow them*
                   *They drink all of AmeriDan's BlogBeer*

   AmeriDan, standing to the side and smiling like a fool for all this time,
   feels left out. Thankfully, it's his Awards Show and he can end it
   anyway he wants:

                     *Ann Coulter runs up to the stage-
                       she has a pie and a jar of ranch
                       salad dressing*
                     * She want's to debate him- Liberal
                       style*
                     * His response- BRING. IT. ON.!!!!!!

        EDITORS NOTE: No bloggers were harmed, or did anything to be  
        ashamed of (not counting AmeriDan) during the making of this post.

   
                                             -AmeriDan (11/26/06  5:30pm)